My Heart in Heaven
I found myself staring at my girls all day today. Dreaming of how it would be to have all three of them together. I know it’s an impossibility and that breaks me. 𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵. There are no balloons to blow up.No cake to be smashed. No family pictures to be taken.No…
Get Out Of Your Own Way!
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 is a funny thing. I don’t even think we realize how driven we are by it. We say no to things without even considering our options because our mind is trained to protect us. NO is safe. NEW can be scary.Over the past couple years, I’ve opened my mind to so much. I’ve been…
Back to Reality (Oops! There Goes Gravity)
𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺-𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘛𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 🤪Here are my tips for getting your life together when you’d rather be on the lake. (It me.) ☀️ Drink all the water. Like… ALL the water. One gallon minimum. Trust me. Put things away. If you leave your camp gear and dirty clothes and cooler and blankets and floaties…
Mother’s Day : Grateful – Broken – Loved
Mother’s Day. This day has looked different to me every single year. On this day, I’ve felt grateful, resentful, hopeful, joyous, confused, anxious, elated, and a million other things. But one feeling has never diminished: Loved. I spent my first 25 years simply loving on my mom on this day. I’ve always been immensely grateful…
The Days After: Remembering My Miscarriage One Year Later
Yesterday marked one year since we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat and today is one year since the D&C procedure- the start of the hardest days of my life. I tried to write it all down each night, but as you can see from my journal, I couldn’t continue. It would…
2021 Resolution: Not a Single Negative Word Shall Be Spoken About My Body
2021 New Year’s Resolution: I will not say a single negative word about my body. I remember what it feels like to be postpartum. The high of that pregnancy glow is gone and you are left exhausted, anxious, and insecure. As soon as the baby is born, a woman’s body becomes uninhabited. It no longer…
Goodbye, 2020
2020 has been, by far, the hardest year of my life. Losing my baby girl and experiencing a D&C rocked me to my core and left me shattered. I’ve felt heavy grief before, but this was unlike any previous loss. A part of me literally died and was taken from me… actually ripped from my…
The Long Wait (November 7, 2019)
It has almost been two weeks since my 1st IUI (fertility treatment) this time around. I promised that I’d share my experience along the way and I haven’t written about it since I made that promise. It has been a rollercoaster for me and I haven’t felt like writing. I DID take you guys along…
Here We Go Again (September 14, 2019)
I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this for weeks. It feels harder for me to put anything on the page when I’m so attached…so emotional. My writing process takes time and I usually share the hard stuff once I’m through it a little. Partly, because I try not to focus (dwell) on…
Growing Confidence (September 26, 2019)
I distinctly remember thinking, after hours and hours of excruciating labor, that there was no way I was strong enough to birth my baby girl. I knew it had to happen. I just couldn’t imagine how I’d have the strength to endure another second of the massive pain I was in. Confidence was at an…
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Diannah Killian 